Jane Churchon's "The Dead Book"

For my “pick-um” essay I chose to read Jane Churchon’s “The Dead Book”, partly because it sounded interesting and partly because I wanted to comment on your blogs and I do not like to do that without reading what you have read.  This was one of the most powerful essays I have ever read.  Right off the bat this essay hits you like a ton of bricks.  I had no idea that this would be about how a woman pronounces someone dead.  Of course, the essay has much more depth than just that.  The way in which Churchon describes the actual process sends shivers down my spine.  I do not think that I could even for a second do what this woman does.

I have never had someone extremely close to me die.  When I was fourteen my grandma’s boyfriend, who had always been a grandfather figure to me, died of a heart attack.  But it is not the same as losing a parent, sibling, or real grandparent.   Someday I will know that kind of loss, but until then this essay gives me a better understanding of the process of death itself.  I connected closely with what Churchon says about the time of death making the death more real to the family.  Sometimes a death seems so unreal and out of reach, but putting a time on it can make it a reality.   

I found it interesting when Churchon talks about what gives her the right to pronounce someone dead.  It is as though these patients, who have died, do not matter as much to other people.  But Churchon gives them the time that they deserve and I admire that.  I hope that someone gives me that when it is my time.  A life is an amazing thing and many people do not realize that everyday matters, even the last. 

When she describes the morgue it sends shivers down my spine.  I know that I would never be able to go into a place like that by myself.  It’s not that the place itself gives me the creeps; it’s the fact that there is some much sadness in that one tiny room.     All that room ever sees is death, no light shines through, no miracles or happiness, just sadness.  The way Churchon describes what happens in the morgue is painful yet enlightening.  Although, I am sure there are people that work in morgues that find it horrible, Churchon takes what she does seriously and cares about what happens to the people she places there.

Life and death are a part of who we are, but it is what happens in between that determines what we are remembered for.  Everyone hopes that they will be remembered fondly and that many people will grief over them.  But what we do when we are alive is what is important.  Death should be a celebration of life, a time for stories and thanksgiving for a wonderful life in heaven with God.  At least that is what I want for myself someday.  Although I fear the death of a loved one, I know that it is not the end of our journey together.

David Sedaris' "Guy Walks into a Bar Car"

David Sedaris’ essay “Guy Walks into a Bar Car” is a love story of uniqueness and intrigued me from the start.  At first glance this looks like the story of lost love as David travels to Chicago in order to find an old boyfriend he thinks he still has a chance with.  This reminds me so much of my own life.  I often find myself wanting to maintain a part of my life that is in the past and probably should just stay there.  Thankfully, this story takes a turn for the sick and twisted somewhat quickly.  Sometimes people come into your life that you never thought would make a difference and then all of a sudden boom!  Your whole world has been turned upside down, for the better.  In the case of this essay it starts with a dirty nun joke. 

Both of the men in this essay are down on their luck, which is possibly what drew them together.  When people are having a hard time sometimes instead of finding someone stronger to lean on they find someone that they can relate to.  I see the two men and their two problems, one a gambler slash drunk and one simple drifting through life with no real purpose.  This is why they are attracted to each other; their problems are brought into the light and unmasked by the other person.

I like the style of this essay, because between all of the sad and pathetic talk about the failures in these two men’s lived there is comic relief by the drunk man at the bar.  The comic relief in itself is kind of sad and pathetic but it brings the attention back and forth, which is interesting.  For some reason, it was shocking to me when in the middle of the night these two guys decided they needed to smoke pot.  It seemed so random, yet because of the two men’s life styles, should have been expected.  Every paragraph adds to the shock of the disastrous encounter of these two men.  For instance, Sedaris writes, “One moment, I was asking if his mom gave him a discount on his drugs, and the next thing I know he was telling me about this women he’s recently had sex with.”  The kinds of information in this essay are shocking, yet I find it honest and worth reading.

I appreciate a true story that does not leave out any facts.  This is one of those stories.  Sedaris is honest about his journey as a gay man and the stumbles that have been a factor in his life.  I, of course, feel compassion towards him because of the honesty that he portrays in this essay.  There are really three love stories here.  The first is of a man who is trying to maintain a relationship with someone who he is not meant to be with.  The second is of the same man meeting a guy on a train whom he feels attracted to for all the wrong reasons.  This of course ends as pointless as it begins.  And finally, of the man falling in love and watching the one love walk out the door.  He does not go after him and that was his biggest mistake. 

This essay is about feelings and heartache, which is present in everyone’s life.  But the difference here is how you choose to deal with the pain.  The choices that this man makes have terrible consequences, but he realizes that their needs to be changes made in order for him to find peace with himself.  I feel this way at time when I know that I am not doing what my heart tells me is the right thing to do.  Sometimes we need to step outside ourselves and see what others see in order to make the right changes in our lives.  I looked up Sedaris on the Internet because I knew nothing about him prior to reading this essay and I see that he is a comedian.  It really brings the whole essay into light and I am able to look at this essay with a little lighter perspective.